Pairing: Xiuris (Xiumin/Kris)
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: The flower naturally grows near the river that flows with love and patience. It is happy and content near the wide expanse of water that drifts downstream. The river needs the flower, it finds it too beautiful to let go. It give whatever it has to make sure the flower and can bloom.
A/N: we at twenty-six and lets all get some sticks to build a fire...or not...what?
I had taken life with just the smallest movement of my index finger. The same index finger baby Rui had sucked in to his mouth when I'd first held him.
I had taken life. That man had been breathing steadily one minute, and then his body was on the ground completely still the next with a halo of red under his head.
It hadn't been a quick death. Unlike Yixing I had absolutely no experience with guns. The bullet hadn't hit Baekhyun square in the forehead like the other man. No, the bullet had ended up lower. I thought I'd missed at first. But then Baekhyun had made a sound that was a low gurgle mixed with choking. Like the low bubbling in an ocean, it was the sound of air trying to push through liquid.
I noticed there was in fact blood so therefore I hadn't missed.
The blood was coming from Baekhyun's neck. There was a small hole dead center of his throat. His hand flew up to try and contain the blood as his mouth opened and he gasped to breath.
When he coughed and more blood sloshed out on to his lips I flinched and backed away. I didn't get to see the rest. Wu Fan's arms turned me around to face him and I quickly hid in his chest. But I could still hear Baekhyun struggling to breath as he coughed and wheezed and gurgled.
I didn't notice I was crying until Wu Fan wiped my cheeks and shushed me.
I had taken a life to save a life. And Tao was staring up at me from the ground with her mouth hanging open in shock. Was it the same as what Wu Fan had been trying to do? Giving a life to save other lives? Or was it worse? Tao's gentle tears told me I had done the right thing. But the sound of the man dying behind me told me different.
“I am going to kill every last one of you.” a furious growl took my attention. The tall man was storming toward us with his eyes right on me. There was a dangerous fire in his eyes, and for once he didn't have his sadistic smile in place. But his glare was much more scarier. He was getting closer and Wu Fan immediately placed me behind him. I heard Tao scurrying away on the mud. My sad attempt to help was to hand Wu Fan's gun back to him. He quickly took hold of the heavy metal and aimed it at Chanyeol's snarling face.
But the tall man kept coming, pulling out his own gun and pointing it at us.
“I'll kill all of you!” he roared and quickly cocked the gun. A golden bullet case went flying to the side, shimmering as it went.
But he froze in his tracks before he could shoot. A look of annoyance crossing his intense eyes. His black gun was still aimed at Wu Fan and I, but he wasn't firing. Something was stopping him.
Jongdae moved in to my view as he shuffled over from behind Chanyeol. My friend too had a gun, Yixing's revolver in his grip. He had it pressed to the back of Chanyeol's head.
“Not unless I kill you first.” Jongdae's eyes were cold as his thumb pulled back the hammer. The deadly click signaled that the gun was ready to release. And all it was going to take was one squeeze of the trigger to blast a hole through the tall man's head.
I'd seen that same look on Yixing, the one that Jongdae wore. When Tao had hissed at him and broken him down, that was the same look Yixing had possessed when he'd raised his hand at Tao. Now it was reversed. Yixing was the most important person in the world to Jongdae. My friend was ready to kill anyone who brought harm to Yixing.
Chanyeol kept his eyes on me, but lowered his weapon. Wu Fan quickly stepped forward and snatched it out of Chanyeol's hands. He then handed it over to me, even though I denied it at first, and I ended up holding it to the dark haired one's face. He too lowered his gun, seeing as he was clearly outnumbered.
He didn't look as stiff as the tall man though. He was smirking at me while I glared at him.
“Where's the other one?” Wu Fan asked Jongdae. The younger man motioned with his head over back to where Yixing was still laying unconscious. I stole a quick glance to see that I could make out a pair of legs falling out of the sugarcane fields that did not belong to my friend. Jongdae must have found an opportunity to take out the other one out during all of the commotion.
“He's knocked out. I made sure of it.” Jongdae huffed with his stare on the tall man. I could see Jongdae's finger twitching. The thirst in his mouth must have been overwhelming. Whatever Chanyeol had done to Yixing, it had made Jongdae pissed off and crazy. Jongdae and Wu Fan had Chanyeol at gunpoint, and I had Jongin at gunpoint. I could feel Tao body warmth against my leg as she leaned on to me while sitting on the ground. Yixing was near our house still unmoving, and the other blonde man was unconscious laying in the sugarcane fields.
A weak cry made me look over my shoulder quickly.
I lowered my gun when I realized Luhan was on the ground and calling for me. The one eye that was clearly visible was watering and his mouth had the smallest gap open as he tried to speak. Wu Fan took over my part to guard Jongin as I kneeled down to help my friend up. I tried to hug him carefully, but I was so happy to see him alive. For two whole days I had thought he no longer existed in my world, that he was gone forever.
But there he was in my arms crying and whining about how much everything hurt and how he kept thinking about all of us. He was damaged yes, broken at what seemed beyond repair, but he was alive and in my arms and breathing and that mattered.
“You carry him.” I heard Wu Fan order. I gave him an incredulous stare when I realized Jongin was heading over to me while Wu Fan followed. He was going to let that monster carry my Luhan? After what he'd done to him? Would Luhan even want to be touched by that man?
Jongin tossed his dark hair out of his eyes and threw me another smirk before easily scooping up Luhan in to his arms. Luhan cried out and his body tensed when the dark haired man's arm touched his back, but he didn't complain. Wu Fan kept his revolver on Jongin and ordered him to start walking to our house. Before walking Jongin stopped and laughed heartily,
“Look Chanyeol Hyung! They're taking me hostage! Save me later okay?” he smiled and sent a wink to the tall man who was glaring down at Jongdae. The tall man turned his head to roll his eyes at the dark haired boy and nodded evenly. Wu Fan grabbed one of my hands and started leading me, and Tao grabbed my other as we started walking back to the house. But I stopped and turned around.
Jongdae was not following us.
He was having a stare down with Chanyeol. He took a step forward and went to press the barrel of his revolver to the tall man's head.
Chanyeol's eyes gleamed in a delightful dare as he pressed back against it.
“Do it.” he chuckled. The smile was back at full force. Jongdae breathed deeply as his glared furiously at the tall man. Chanyeol smiled wider. I replayed Jongdae's desperate screams from before as he watched Chanyeol attack Yixing. I couldn't imagine the pain.
And I couldn't fathom that my amazingly playful friend who giggled and teased everyone could ever come to this. I'd taken life, Wu Fan had been willing to sacrifice life, and Luhan was willing to risk his life. I didn't want any more lives at stake. Jongdae was my friend, I loved his life, his soul clean. As cheesy at it sounds it was true. The man I knew was too kind to kill, but he loved strongly and fiercely. But still, the kindness stood out to me more, and I wanted to keep it that way.
I let go of Wu Fan and Tao's hands and ran over to Jongdae. I tried to pull him back with me while he still aimed the revolver at the smiling man. He at first tried to fight me with deep growls of protest. But he listened to me when I whispered quietly in to his ear,
“Yixing is still on the ground Dae. Go get him quickly.” I heard him quietly gasp, as in he'd almost forgotten. He nodded to me sternly and turned around with me. I didn't bother to turn around to check if the tall man was following us. We could hear him cursing us the whole way back.
“I'm not done with him! I'm coming back tomorrow night!” Chanyeol roared when Jongdae hauled Yixing over his back and carried him in to our house.
The second I was inside I ran to Rui Jing's room and picked up my very away and panicked son. I heard Wu Fan come in to our room and lay on our bed. But I continued to calm my little gem down until his long cries turned in to quiet sniffles.
I felt bad and terribly guilty at how much my baby was sleeping those days. Every time he woke up something terrible was happening. All he could do was cry for me and scream in fear. Of course this tired him out and the mental distress on this small child made me cry. It was too much, and after he was calm what else could he do but sleep and dream his fears away?
I locked Rui's door with him inside with an easy heart. My baby was safe and sleeping.
But my husband was awake and going insane. I could already tell that he wasn't right in his mind when I saw his form on our bed.
The quiet slap of his palms to his head hurt me. His face was read as well as his eyes, the tears of anger were slowly falling down the sides of his face as he repeatedly slammed his hands on to his face.
When I sat down on the mattress next to me he inhaled deeply and let out a long scream. He was frustrated and angry. Mostly at himself.
I found that I wasn't angry at him. Why should I be? He'd tried to protect me. He'd been a desperate man with very little options who'd made a rash decision. His intention were good. His motivation was love, was me, was his family. What could I be mad at him for?
Yes in that second I hadn't recognized him, I'd thought that he wasn't the man I loved. And I was right. He may not have been the man that I loved, because my Wu Fan would never give up on his morals. But that man had been Wu Fan, in love with Minseok, brothers to the trio and father to Rui Jing who realized there were no more options to protect what he loved. I wasn't angry with him.
I had to grab his hands when they started pounding on his chest. He tried to push me away and continue to hurt himself.
Did he think that there was nothing else to do but hate himself? That everything was his fault so he needed to be punished? Why use his owns fists to bruise his skin? Why his own palms to knock his brain around? Was he done with everything? I didn't want to lose him. Even if I'd known at the time that everything was his fault, that he'd never sent the letter, I still wouldn't have wanted to lose him. I loved him. It scares me sometimes how much I am so in love with him.
We ended up in a tangle of limbs and tears. I kissed him back earnestly and did my best to wipe away his tears. I had to push his hair out of his eyes so I could meet his hopeless tears with a serious glare.
“I know.” I told him. His fingers roughly traced my eyes and my lips. I could hear his labored breaths and the pained gasping. He chocked on his words.
“I understand.” I assured him. He kissed me and hugged me. His voice shook when he finally spoke, broken up as he gulped down air and sniffled.
“I love you Minseok. Can you see that? I didn't want anything to happen to you. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. I didn't know what to do. I—“ I could see him falling apart at the seems. This wasn't a side to Wu Fan I'd seen before. I'd seen him act selfishly. I'd seen him annoyed with me and his brothers. I'd seen him cry and beg me to stay. I'd seen him desperate.
But he was afraid of himself in that moment. He was afraid of what he was capable of, and he hated himself for it, and he was trying to rationalize behavior that didn't make sense to him. What he'd just done, the way he'd just dragged a woman he cared about through the mud to be a lamb for us all, was something he never thought he'd ever do.
I grasped his precious face between my hands and forced him out of his mind.
“Wu Fan I know, I understand.” I repeated. He wasn't hearing me. Or he didn't believe me.
“You wanted to protect me, you wanted to stop Yixing and Jongdae from getting hurt. You were trying to stop Luhan from dying. Look at me damnit!” I demanded. His eyes shook but they finally landed on me. And they really looked at me.
“There is nothing wrong with you wanting to protect your family. Nothing.” I growled. His mouth fell open but he bit his lip and more tears fell down.
“Remember when I told I loved you because you always did the right thing?” I asked him and thankfully he nodded.
“I also love you because you are human Wu Fan. You are a human being. You are selfish and that's okay. You make mistakes, and that's also okay. Do you hear me? You didn't know what else to do. I love you.” I pecked his lips. He gasped and sat up with me in his lap. His eyes wide with shock and fear as he whimpered,
“Oh god we can't tell Rui about this. He'll hate me. Don't tell him Minseok!” he begged. I clamped my hand over his mouth.
“If Rui ever finds out about this, I'm going to tell him his Papa is a good man. That his Papa does what he has to do to protect his family. Do you hear me?” my voice lowered and I whispered this in to his ear. Wu Fan nuzzled his face in to my hair.
In a very small voice he asked me, as if it were a secret to the whole world, “But it was wrong wasn't it? I was a monster wasn't I?”
I didn't answer him out loud. I couldn't find the verbal answer.
My fists pulled him tightly against me and I nodded.
He let out long sigh, understanding my nod of silence.“I justed wanted to keep you. I wanted you. Do you get that now? That I always want you. I'd do anything to keep you.” he hummed in to my neck. Slowly we laid down together. I fell on top of him and pressed my ear over his heart beat. He held on to me and took deep breaths. Eventually his breathing become calm and his fingers absently traced my back. I lifted my head and stared in to his eyes. I was happy to see the familiar glint of warmth in them, the eyes that looked through me were back.
I could still detect the worry in his scowl and the frustration in his brow, but his beautiful eyes were back. They looked right in to me and saw what I was, they told me the truth and I recognized them.
It didn't feel like we were holding each other for those few hours. Usually it was Wu Fan who held me tightly, or we held each other. I'd never been the one to hold him in my arms. He felt smaller than me, he felt vulnerable under me even if he was larger than me. I was taking care of him, his sanity.
He laid in my arms for awhile. I ran my fingers through his hair and traced the dried mud on his amrs. I kissed the scratches Tao had left behind.
When my baby woke up, and he finally woke up to a quiet house, I pulled Wu Fan with me so we could both feed him. For once Rui didn't want to be held by me. He reached for Wu fan and only stayed in my husband's lap while we were in the kitchen. My poor baby must have missed his Papa through all the fear and terror he'd been through.
The house was quiet again. It hadn't been that quiet and filled with so much tension since Tao's initial arrival. But that time Tao wasn't the cause of the tension.
Jongdae was in the living room with Yixing, nursing Yixing's wounds. Tao had had also stayed in the living room, not wanting to be anywhere near Wu Fan, which was understandable. Luhan was sprawled on the kitchen floor. Apparently that was as far as he'd been carried. And he didn't want to move because his whole body hurt to much and he just didn't want to move another muscle.
There was a dark presence in our home. It was darker than Tao and Wu Fan's lies.
Jongin absently fiddled with his fingers. He didn't bother to look at any of us. He sat on the floor next to Luhan's body with his head against the wall. I could barely make out his dark head of hair behind the kitchen table.
Unlike Tao, he didn't make any eye contact with anyone. He didn't snarl out insults or tease with glares. He just sat against the wall of our kitchen and picked dirt from under his fingernails.
But the weight of his presense was so much heavier than Tao's. He was one of them. He was here to kill, to take what wasn't his and he would go to extreme lengths to get it.
Jongin was a hired assassin who knew very well how to use a knife and gun, who was good at fighting. He was on this island to kidnap a woman and kill her. He'd attacked me, and I'd thought he'd killed Luhan. This was the man who'd chased me down and held a gun to my face. He'd threatened my son's life. And he sat in my home, sitting next to my friend with a bored look on his face.
Once in awhile he flipped the dark silk out of his face. I would never admit out loud that he was rather handsome when he wasn't pulling a knife on me. He had very expressive eyes that could look relaxed one moment, and then he'd casually look up to the ceiling and his eyes would ooze sex appeal.
He wasn't good looking. He was evil. Totally evil.
“You shouldn't stare at me so hard,” Jongin spoke to me suddenly. His eyes moved from the ceiling downward till they landed right on my blushing cheeks, “I might make you dizzy.” he purred.
“Shut the hell up.” Wu Fan growled from beside me. My husband was patting Rui's back lightly, lulling him to rest. My baby had just finished some rice and meat I'd quickly made him and chugged down several cups of water. Wu Fan's eyes were on fire as he growled over at the dark haired killer.
“Why? My voice too sexy for ya? Think I might get your little love bug out of his pants if I talk long enough? Betcha I can.” Jongin chuckled deeply. He actually winked at Wu Fan and I had to put a restricting hand on my husband's arm in order to stop him from charging. Jongin smirked at us. But his smirk quickly fell and the look of boredom came back again. He moved his gaze over to the very still Luhan. My friend's breathing was shallow and his skin color drained. I couldn't look at the ugly black and purple bruises on his face for too long with out tearing up.
My eyes widened in panic as Jongin slowly approached Luhan, getting down on his elbows and crawling till his head hung over Luhan's.
Wu Fan tensed beside me, ready to give me Rui Jing and spring in to action.
“Don't touch him!” I barked angrily.
That was when Jongin shot me an annoyed glare, and lowered his head. He placed a soft kiss on Luhan's upside down lips.
I jumped out of my chair and started running over. How could that jerk touch my friend? He was sick, disgusting, a killer. What if he hurt Luhan further?
Luhan opened his eye weakly, whining out a complaint and lightly smacking Jongin's face away.
“I said don't touch—“ I started to scream again.
But I felt my mind go blank with the scene before me.
Jongin attached his lips to Luhan's mouth again. I gaped as Jongin expertly moved his mouth against the weak mouth beneath him.
“Just trying to make you feel better blondie” the dark haired man panted and my mouth fell open when Luhan smiled and his mouth fell open. Why was his mouth falling open like that? Like he was welcoming the tongue that pushed in to his mouth and licked at his bruised lips. Luhan...what?
“Could you not be a brat for a second please?” Luhan wheezed out weakly. I actually took a step back as Luhan's hands reached out carefully and weaved in to the head of dark hair. As Jongin moved his body so he was next to and not over Luhan. I fell back in to my seat next to Wu Fan as the two began to kiss with more passion, Jongin easing his grip when Luhan squeaked in pain.
“What the fuck is going on?” I breathed out with dismay. I could only stare with dumbfound eyes as Jongin continued to kiss Luhan, and Luhan kissed him back.
“I was just about to ask the same thing.” Wu Fan gulped next to me.
I didn't really know what to say for a few seconds.
Luhan was kissing Jongin. Jongin was one of them. He had chased me down and held me at gunpoint. Luhan had fought him off for me and my son. I had thought Luhan had died at Jongin's hands.
They were on the floor of the kitchen making out?
"Feel better?" Jongin breathed with a smile. Luhan actually grinned back and nodded.
"Tell me you love me blondie." Jongin playfully licked Luhan's nose. i watched with horror as Luhan giggled...like giggled and blushed.
"Love you." Luhan kissed Jongin gently and slowly.