Pairing: Xiuris (Xiumin/Kris)
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: The flower naturally grows near the river that flows with love and patience. It is happy and content near the wide expanse of water that drifts downstream. The river needs the flower, it finds it too beautiful to let go. It give whatever it has to make sure the flower and can bloom.
A/N: yo yo twenty-fo get down on the flo!
I had tried my best to stay calm. I was doing this for Rui. I would do anything for my little gem. I had tried so hard to stay still and let it be over with.
But then he'd touched me under my boxers. His unfamiliar touch on my bare skin made me want to gag, made me furious. It was a forced touch. It was an unwanted touch. It made me want to fight. My mind kept rerunning every time I'd been with Wu Fan like this, how sweet my husband was, how familiar and loving his touch was.
I never wanted anyone else to touch me like he did. I didn't want anyone else inside of me like that.
Luhan had died saving us.
Ani had died protecting us.
Wu Fan would die if he found out...
I didn't know if I'd want to live...
And that was when the panic set my senses on fire. That was when I started fighting.
Through my crying and screaming I pushed him. I lifted my knees to block myself off and to keep him away. He was threatening me with the knife, pointing it at me. His hand began choking me again. His snarling face was right above mine. He was spitting on me and cursing at me.
I didn't want this. I never wanted this and I wanted it to stop. Only Wu Fan. Only my husband.
“You think you can run away little boy? You're mine now!” he barked as he lifted my head by my neck and slammed it back down. His mouth bit at my neck and I tried to twist my body away. I didn't want his. This was my body, not his. And I didn't want him. I was going to fight.
“Get off of me!” I screamed with anger and panic. My hands wrapped in to his hair and I yanked it forcefully. He roared down at me and dropped his knife. I didn't get to reach for it. He brought one hand back and slapped me hard in the face.
He slapped me so hard I tasted blood in my mouth. He gripped my cheeks to make me look at him again before his hand came slamming back down.
He was breathing all over me, his mouth was on my skin and I wanted it go to away.
“You done fighting silly boy?” he chuckled.
“No!” I spat. I tried to move my body away from him, I lifted my shoulders to get up. I cried out when my shoulder was rammed back in to the ground.
I screamed in agony when he bit shoulder. His teeth seemed so sharp and his bite was hard. He marked me. He fucking marked me and then licked me and I thought I was going to be sick.
He was smiling down at me. His wide smile that taunted me, made fun of me. He knew he was going to win. Where could I run to? How could I get away? A sudden fear came over me, a new realization that made my sobbing obnoxiously loud.
Was this what Tao had felt like?
No one was coming to save me, I had no where to run to and I had no way to win. Even if I was to get away and out of the house it didn't matter. These two men could so easily hunt me down and drag me back kicking and screaming. No matter how much I disliked Tao, or anyone for that matter; I didn't wish anyone to meet this fate. I was helpless and vulnerable. I was so angry and frustrated because I had no escape. It was going to happen. I was going to be raped in the exact house I'd had my wedding at, the house of my second mother, on a floor that I used to play with my son. I couldn’t' get away. I just wanted to get away. I wanted Wu Fan, anyone to save me. Why was it that when I screamed and begged no one came to save me?
That must have been what Tao had felt like. How could I wish her death? How could I ever ask Wu Fan to abandon her? All I craved for was a protector. Wu Fan had been hers. Who was I to order him to let her perish?
“Please! Please don't!” I begged once more. The man didn't even bother to acknowledge me. He was working on tugged my boxers down. He was having a hard time with my pushing arms and my locked legs. But I could feel my strength fading away, my world falling apart, and the fabric of my underwear slipping. I screamed at the top of my lungs when he finally pulled them off, down to my ankles.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” an angry yell from the kitchen made the man above me stop what he was doing. I too stopped struggling to for a second at the sudden complaint.
The innocent looking man came barging in. He was holding Rui at arm's length. His face was twisted with disgust and I quickly realized why when I spotted a large white gooey substance all over his chest.
Rui had up-chucked on him.
I whimpered softly and made to get up. When I slammed back down I screamed in the tall man's face.
Couldn't he see my baby was sick? I needed to get to him. Rui needed me damnit.
“Ya Chanyeol get off him, I'm not cleaning this shit up.” the man growled. I roughly shoved the tall man harder when I saw that my baby was almost passed out. His body must be exhausted and he must be in so much pain from screaming for so long.
“Give me a second Kyungsoo! I've almost got him where I want him!” the tall man said as his eyes focused back on me. I moved my knees up to block myself again, gritting my teeth as I doubled my effort to get him off of me. Chanyeol, that was his name. He slapped me again but I turned my head back just as quickly.
“Ya! I said I'm not cleaning this shit! Get off of him damn it! You can fuck the girl when we get her!” the other man yelled louder and approached us. He kicked Chanyeol hard in the side. With a yelp he fell over and off of me. I squirmed around so fast to pull my boxers up with my pants. When I felt his large hands on me I immediately scooted away and slapped his hands. I could hear him crawling towards me when the sound of cocked gun stilled the air.
The wide-eyed man was pointing his own gun at Chanyeol's head.
“Suho's dead, so now I'm the leader. I said leave him. Got it?” he questioned with a hushed voice. The tall man glared daggers back but nodded his head. The gun was then aimed at me and I flinched away.
“You. Up. Take this kid and my jacket. Clean it and hurry up.” he ordered. I was on my feet so fast I was dizzy. I almost started crying again, but in relief, as the man handed Rui Jing to me.
Rui Jing started crying all over again. I felt him gripping my shirt tightly. I felt how warm his face was and how his skin was clammy cold.
I never wanted to experience that again. To be separated from my little gem when he was in distress, when he was upset pained me so much. It was probably the worst feeling I'd ever experienced. I'd been powerless and he'd needed me. Never again.
“It's okay Rui, I'm here.” I cooed and patted his back. The relief washing through my body made me realize how tired I was. My body was ready to shut down. I ran my fingers through Rui's hair, remembering how soft and thin it was. I wiped his wet cheeks and kissed them after.
“I'm here baby don't cry.” I whispered against his forehead. He constantly chanted 'Mama' to me. I didn't know if he was still calling for me, or if he asking me an unsaid question. Mama why did you leave me in the closet? Mama who are these men? Mama I'm scared, make it better. Even if he had asked me those questions I wouldn't have been able to answer them coherently. Because all I could answer back was 'Little Gem' the whole time.
When his crying settled in to light sniffles and hiccups, the other man threw his jacket at me. He stayed on my heels as I took Rui in to the kitchen to rinse off the throw up. He didn't say anything and just watched with wide expressionless eyes as I ran the fabric under the sink and rubbed some laundry soap over it and then rinsed it again.
I didn't wait for him to tell my anything and cleaned up my baby's face with a warm damp rag. I went to the fridge with the man right behind me, grabbing Rui some orange juice and feeding him some sweet bread that had been left in the cupboards.
Sweet bread that Ani had probably baked...
The man waited, and I was surprised by this, until I was done taking care of Rui compeltely to my satisfaction. I gingerly handed the man back his jacket. He snatched it back and put it on.
And then he reached to grab Rui again.
“Mama!” Rui cried and literally jumped in to my arms. I pressed his head in to the crook of my neck and backed away from the man.
“Give him. I've let you take care of him, trust me I'm being nice.” the man backed me in to a corner. I stared at his wide eyes in silence. I wasn't letting Rui go again. I wouldn't be able to handle his screams of pain all over again.
“Please, please let me hold him. I'll go where ever you want me to. Please.” I begged.
“Would you rather Chanyeol hold him?” he countered.
“Please! I swear I won't run away! Please he's scared. I need to hold him!” my fingers were digging in to Rui's side. I could feel his hands holding tightly to my shirt. I didn't want to let go of him ever again.
The man stared down at me for a long second.
“Fine.” he gave in. I sighed in relief. He pointed the gun at me and I whimpered in fear, “One step out of line and I'm taking him. Understand?” he checked. I nodded eagerly and rubbed my baby's back. Rui seemed to relax at the heard information.
“Chanyeol!” the man yelled over in to the living room.
“What?” an irate voice yelled back. The man turned to me and motioned me forward with his gun. Cautiously I stepped ahead of him. He placed his hand on my shoulder and pushed me on.
“Keepp walking. Chanyeol we're leaving.” he told the tall man. We walked past him, he was still on the floor, and out the front door.
I covered Rui's eyes when I spotted lifeless legs on my right. I didn't want to look. I didn't want to see her like that. I was going to remember her with a stern gaze and a gentle smile.
“Keep going.” the man ordered when I paused after the steps meeting the pathway.
He walked me all the way till the border where the thick jungle started.
The moon was high and the stars were out. The night was warm and silent save for the night animals alive and moving in nature. I curled my toes in to the refreshingly cold grass beneath me.
“You go home kid. You send a message with you, got it?” the man asked. His wide eyes were in front of me. I nodded quietly.
“You tell them we said one day. Or else we come back to get the girl plus you and the kid. Got it?” he checked. The warning was clear. I understood.
“You count till 200 before you start walking. If you start walking or running before that I'll know, and I swear I'll drag you right back here and let Chanyeol have his way with you.” he warned with dead eyes. I nodded in understanding.
I counted till 300. Just to be safe.
And then I stood there for another minute. Rui had fallen asleep in my arms. The sound of his soft snoring kept me calm for a while.
Eventually I fell to the ground and cried. I had to lay Rui beside me on the ground so I could cry freely and loudly. I held my face in my hands and sobbed.
Had that really just happened to me?
Did I dare look back at Ani's house to see her body? What if Luhan's body was still in the jungle somewhere?
I wanted this nightmare to end already. I actually smacked my self in the head and pounded my fists in to the earth, begging to wake up and make all of this unreal.
Please, I begged. Please please please why please?
~ ~ ~
Wu Fan had been watching for me. He had seen me come out of the forest long before I'd reached our home. I knew because I saw him running out of our home, across the rice pads and around the sugar cane fields.
He stared at me in horror for a half second before sobbing and hugging me. His thumbs ran over the bruises near my lips and my jaw. He wanted to know what had happened.
Did he really though?
Did he want to know how I'd almost been raped? How I'd had a knife at my throat half the night and and at Rui's head for the rest? Did he want to know how I'd screamed for him, literally called out his name while another man touched me but he never came? He wanted to know how angry I'd been, how distressed and frantic I'd been. How at one point I screamed at the top of my lungs and clawed at the floors to try to get away, but had ended up being dragged back by my ankle instead. I'd lost my voice, I couldn't answer his questions, my throat felt dry as he begged me to tell him what happened. I had nothing to say. I listened to his anxious sobs as cried in to my neck and kissed the bruises that were left.
I should have sent the letter.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
I'll kill them.
I love you.
I love you Minseok, I love you so much.
Yixing ran to us when Wu Fan called and took Rui for me. My baby almost started protesting again. But when he realized who was holding him he passed out again and snuggled in to Yixing's chest.
I fell in to my husband's arms and he carried me home.
I whined and grabbed for him when he set me down on our bed and made to leave. I was not going to let him go. I needed to remember what his arms felt like around me. I wanted that feeling of safety and security. The warmth of his love and adoration as he kissed my cheek and hugged me. I was not letting him go, and thankfully he understood that and held on to me for the rest of the night.
I had nightmares that night. Of being stuck in a closed off room with that man, of fighting with everything I had and still losing. I dreamed that I was running through the forest by myself, screaming for someone to save me. That smiling man had found me, and dragged me back kicking and screaming.
I woke up in a panic. Wu Fan was not in the bed with me. Where was my safety and security?
I broke in to the kitchen panting and gasping. Ignoring everyone's shocked looks I made a beeline for Wu Fan and climbed in to his lap. Silent tears ran down my cheeks as I held on to him. I denied any food. I denied any water. I stayed absolutely quiet the whole morning.
Ani had smelled like fresh water and sunshine.
Luhan had smelled like mud and tea.
Wu Fan still smelled like wood from the trees and morning air. I inhaled his scent deeply and tried to memorize it. This was the smell of my safety. This smell made my world calm and beautiful. This scent was all Wu Fan. He was what I loved and what I'd needed.
“Minseok?” Jongdae asked in a cautious tone.
I turned my body toward him to let him know I was listening. He and Yixing were both staring at me with uncertainty. I could see Tao seated next to the hallways door quietly. She hadn't said a word to me since I got back.
But something in her gaze told me she already understood what had happened. Something in the way she looked at me; she no longer glared at me or seemed angry at all. It was like we had a silent understanding between us. She knew what I was going through. And now I'd understood what she'd gone through. We were equals.
“Where's Luhan?” Jongdae asked. I could see the fear in his eyes. They were red and scared and anxious. He was nibbling on his bottom lip. The tears were pooling at the edge and ready to fall.
“He told me to run.” I croaked out. Jongdae's tears fell first, then Yixing's, then mine. It seemed I'd repeated that line ten times. Maybe because I felt guilty, like I was the cause of Luhan's death. Why hadn't I stopped and helped him? Maybe he would have survived if I'd fought with him. But I'd ran away. But he'd told me to...
“We were followed. One of them followed us,” they both knew where this was going. Jongdae kept his eyes on me. His brow creased as the pain began to form in to grief and disbelief.
“They almost...and Luhan he...he told me to run. So I did.” I sniffled and looked away. Jongdae's broken whimper made me cringe.
“And Ani,” I began slowly. I sharp bang made me jump and look back up. Yixing was seething, his glare was hard and his breathing heavy. He shook his head.
“Not Ani.” his voice shook with determination.
That's what I had begged heaven, not Anit too. Not her.
“My mother is not dead.” Yixing snarled at me. Jongdae had broken down then. He leaned in to his lover and cried in to Yixing's shoulder.
I'd almost forgotten how important she was to all of them. Even Wu Fan was trembling beneath me. Ani was the woman who'd taken them in when they were at their lowest points. They'd known her and loved her all their lives. She'd been their mother, she'd been my mother.
“I'm sorry Yixing.” I muttered and buried my face in to Wu Fan's neck. We both held each other. I could feel Wu Fan's chest expand as he took shaky breaths. I caressed the nape of neck and did my best to kiss his tears away.
Yixing didn't move from the table. He sat there with his head in his hands for a few hours. Jongdae got up eventually and went to the bathroom. The minute he was back he draped his arms around his lover and whispered words of comfort in to his ear.
Rui Jing spent most of the day sleeping. I knew how tired he was from screaming all night, I was too. Wu Fan didn't cry so much. He was trying to be strong for the rest.
“They told me they'd give us one day before they came for Tao.” I confessed. I hated how I kept looking over near the counter with the expectation of seeing Luhan making a cup of tea or leaning against it casually.
“We're not giving her to them. Those bastards can kill me first.” Yixing hissed. Tao stared at him in surprise. Since when did Yixing care if she lived?
Yixing met her gaze and rolled his eyes, “I never said I wanted you to die Tao. I just didn't want you here.” he clarified and then crossed his arms and growled, “but things are different now.”
Yes things were very different now.
I wanted to scream when Yixing pulled out a silver revolver from behind his back. It landed on our kitchen table with a heavy thud. My friend shared a look with Wu Fan. I made a noise of complaint when my husband stood up to leave. He quickly kissed my lips before briskly going to our bedroom.
He too emerged with a large silver revolver. It was bigger than Yixing's and heavier looking. I gaped at him. He'd had that thing in our bedroom all these years?
“We're pretty isolated Minseok, protection come first.” Yixing said in my husband's defense. I didn't say anything back. I just linked my hand with Wu Fan's.
I didn't like the gun at all. But if this was Wu Fan's way of protecting me and my son, then so be it.
Yixing, Jongdae, Wu Fan and Tao discussed options while I listened.
Giving up Tao was out of the question.
We had no way of getting around them. We didn't know how many there were and where they were all located. The horse was fast, but it would only be able to hold three max. leaving behind someone was not an option. So what could we do?
“We could fight them.” Jongdae scoffed. He said it like a dry joke, but Yixing gave him a long gaze. That seemed to be our only true option.
“We only have two guns.” Tao pointed out. I nodded at her statement. Somehow she'd ended up sitting next to me. Funny how a few days ago I would have growled at her to get away. Her presence was suddenly welcome for me.
“It's been raining. We can lead them to the river and ditch them there.” Yixing tried. It wasn't a bad idea. But the 'x' factor was that we didn't know how many there were and where they were. For all we knew there were ten more men waiting for us.
When their idea wells ran dry Yixing got up to get everyone a drink. I rested my head on Wu Fan's shoulder and closed my eyes.
I wanted this nightmare to be over soon. I wanted to go lay down with Wu Fan and have him hold me until I fell asleep. Maybe if I fell asleep I would wake up and everything would be okay again.
“What is it?” Wu Fan suddenly asked me. I thought he was talking to the others so I stayed quiet. When he nudged me I opened my eyes and threw him a questioning gaze.
“Didn't you just call me?” he asked quizzically. I gave him a dead stare. No I hadn't.
“No.” I simply shook my head. His eyebrows came together in confusion. I stared back with an equal amount of doubtfulness.
A knock on our front door sent Yixing in to a frenzy. He was quick to sweep up his gun and run to the living room. Jongdae was on his heels and telling his lover to stop. But the door was already slamming open. We all followed him out. I made sure to close both bedroom doors before following them out.
Yixing had the wide eyed man at gunpoint. Yixing's eyes said he was going to do it. The wide eyed man looked a little terrified for once. He had his hands up as he stared in to Yixing's barrel.
But then his gaze shifted towards the rest of us and he smiled. He pointed straight at Tao, who was standing directly behind me.
“I knew she was here.” he laughed.
Yixing pulled the trigger.