Pairing: Xiuris (Xiumin/Kris)
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: The flower naturally grows near the river that flows with love and patience. It is happy and content near the wide expanse of water that drifts downstream. The river needs the flower, it finds it too beautiful to let go. It give whatever it has to make sure the flower and can bloom.
A/N: uuuuh yea chapter twenty. big money...honey. woot!
“Why did you forgive him so easily Minseok?” Luhan asked me. I looked up from the pan of meat I was frying, my mouth fell open and I stared at him shocked.
He didn't make a move to smile like he was joking, or shrug and walk away. He waited, arms crossed at the kitchen sink. His face was like stone, and he was waiting for an answer.
And I honestly couldn't answer him at first. But I felt his aggressive tone, he was here to accuse and not discuss. So I went on the defensive immediately.
“I don't know. Why does it matter?” I threw back. Luhan gave me a disbelieving scowl. I was completely put off by his question. It was so sudden and it was already irritating me.
“Oh I don't know. There's this girl that just moved in, I don't know if you met her. She's kind of a bitch. Oh she's not the only one, we'll have some more company soon too.” he sneered.
The grip I had on the pan tightened. Was he upset with me because I had forgiven Wu Fan?
“My relationship is none of your business Luhan.” I turned my full attention to him. I snapped off the stove and turned my body towards him, my arms mimicking him and crossing over my chest.
“No it's not. But Rui Jing is. And I just can't understand why you suddenly stopped fighting for him. I thought you of all people would fight against Wu Fan until he sent Tao away.” my friend had a point. Luhan cared so much for Rui, sometimes I thought he was raising him instead.
“You don't think I tried? What do you want? You want me to leave? You'd rather me just take Rui and leave?” I was asking questions that didn't really matter. Of course Luhan wouldn't want me to leave, but he wanted to protect Rui. And I could see how in his eyes, I wasn't doing a very good job of it.
It had been two whole day with Tao in our house. And that meant we were one day closer to having a group of men showing up at our door to do damage.
“Minseok I don't want you to leave. I want to know why. Why did you suddenly forgive him? Since when do you, Minseok the stubborn brat, forgive him in a matter of hours for something like this? The only reason we all didn't step in with our two cents was because we knew you wouldn't stand for it. And now Tao is living with us?” he laughed like it was a joke. But I felt all of his hostility.
Why had I forgiven Wu Fan? It was true, I would've ran to Ani's in a second if I was in my right mind. But I didn't feel sane these days. I was losing my mind, and I didn't want to lose my husband too.
“I don't know Luhan. I just-I just...” I couldn't find words. I didn't want my baby in danger, not ever. My instincts did tell me to leave, to go to Ani's or anywhere that wasn't there. This house was all hostility and danger. I should've left the second Tao had shown up. Luhan was right, I should've fought with Wu Fan until he gave in. So why had I then? Why had I just...given up?
“I don't know. Luhan. I'm lost. And I need him, he promised to keep us safe. I need him, he chose me and not her.” once again I was coming undone. I'd lost it in front of Wu Fan, literally begging him to choose me over Tao, whimpering like a small child. And here I was doing it again. I couldn't breath properly as my words came spilling out and I broke down.
“I love him and I don't know what to do. I don't fucking understand why he has to protect her.”
All she was doing was reminding me that he had someone before me, that she was going to take away everything I had.
“I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him. I don't.” it was as simple as that. I didn't want to leave him. Because I knew that if I left him again, I'd be leaving permanently. I wouldn't be coming back. If he hurt me again I was supposed to leave, even Ani had instructed me to do so.
But I didn't want to leave him. I wanted him. I was too scared to just leave him and leave behind my home. I loved him and I just didn't want to leave him.
“So what, I forgave him. Yeah I did Luhan, what does that mean? You're mad at me? You just, hate me now? I forgave him. I don't want to leave him.” I was pouting and sniffling. I started crying hard again when Luhan hugged me tightly. He sighed like my mother used to when I was small, petting my hair and rubbing my back. I was crying a lot these days, my emotions were so unbalanced that I didn't know what to do with myself. So I just cried.
“I don't hate you brat. I'm annoyed with you.” he chuckled. Figures, Luhan would tell me the truth no matter what. Luhan told me he couldn't fully understand me. He'd never been in love like I was with Wu Fan or how Yixing was with Jongdae.
“But I guess if Rui ever came to me telling me he'd committed some stupid crime—and being Wu Fan's child he probably will—I wouldn't be able to stop from trying to help him. Even if I was angry with him...is it similar to that?” my friend was trying his best to understand me.
“Something like that.” I gave him a half-hearted smile. He nodded to himself, moving away from me and leaning against the kitchen counter.
“So, what do we do now? We just...let this happen?” he sighed in defeat. I shook my head and turned the stove back on.
“I don't know. It's obvious she won't be leaving, and I know I shouldn't be staying. But I don't want to leave.” I told him. Luhan was right, I'd stopped fighting Wu Fan. I was done with sleeping on the opposite side of our bed with out his arms wrapped around me. I was done with fighting with him all together. I never wanted to fight with him again. It was too exhausting.
“I still think you should go to Ani's.” Yixing's voice made me jump. He was sitting at the dining table behind me. I glared at him, how long had he been there?
“Not to leave Wu Fan, but to stay safe. I think you should leave now with Rui, go there until one of us comes to get you.” he continued. I saw Luhan nodding in agreement. Suddenly Jongdae walked in from outside, strolling over to embrace Yixing before smiling at me.
“I can go with you Minseok, it'll be better that way. Let Wu Fan deal with the bed he's made for himself. This way you keep Rui safe and you show support for Wu Fan right? You're not leaving, your just staying away for a bit.” Jongdae explained. It seemed the trio had discussed this by themselves and were now bringing the plan to me. Right after Jongdae walked in, my baby came toddling in after him. Immediately his eyes locked on to me and put his arms up to be held. I held my baby against my chest and thought about what the trio was saying.
I couldn't lie; I agreed with it. It made sense in many ways. I'd agreed to understand Wu Fan's position, but that didn't mean I had to stay in this house were Rui would be in danger. It sounded like a good plan. I was willing to go through with it.
My little gem put his hands over my cheeks, pulling at them and smiling to himself. Luhan was instantly by my side at once, tickling my baby and making him laugh happily. I held his hands while watching his adorable face smile up at me and hearing his little laugh made me laugh. I brought him down to the ground, crouching so I could be eye level with him.
“Little gem, want to go visit Ani?” I asked him. I laughed when he gasped dramatically,
“Now we go? Yes!” he cheered. I pushed a piece of hair out of his dark eyes and kissed his nose,
“We'll go tomorrow okay?” I told him.
“And we can walk through trees huh Mama? And I bring my toys okay?” he informed me. I absolutely loved it when he got excited, rambling out loud with so much energy. It was a change from his usual quiet giggles and blank stares. I loved it when he smiled so brightly that his eyes almost disappeared. And I loved it when he stared back at me with his dark eyes.
I would do anything for my baby.
We needed to get away where we'd be safe.
“Plus you'll get away from the bitch, that's good right?” Jongdae joked and I glared at him before I smiled. Luckily Rui was too busy poking my cheeks and messing with my lips to hear what Jongdae had said. Jongdae was right again. That was good actually. I wouldn't have to deal with her feline eyes watching me wherever I went.
~ ~ ~
That night I told Wu Fan about the trio's plan. He agreed immediately, wishing he'd thought of it sooner. He didn't want me to leave, he admitted. He wanted me by his side but he knew it was for the best. We agreed that the next day Rui and I would pack and leave for Ani's by the afternoon.
“After everything is over, would you want to move?” he whispered to me. I had my head against his chest, enjoying the steady thud of his heart beat. I hummed in confusion, what did he mean by moving?
“Like from his house?” I asked with an unsure voice. His hand was running up and down my arm as he spoke. We'd been very careful around each other. He tried his best not to make me upset about Tao, I tried my best not to scratch her eyes out. We'd been trying to express ourselves more. He kept telling me about what he was feeling and how he felt about me, and I did my best to listen to him and understand what he said.
“Like away from this island.” he sighed like he was dreaming something big. I pushed to sit up, staring down at him. He wanted to move? Away from our home?
“Why do you want to move?” I asked with curiosity. I wasn't completely closed to it. It couldn't really harm us could it? Wherever Wu Fan was, my home was.
“I just think...if things go badly—“
“They won't. You'll take care of everything.” I interrupted his doubt. He'd told me he was going to protect Rui and I was holding him to it. Everything was going to be okay.
“Minseok, our home won't feel like home after everything is over.” he tried to explain. But that didn't make me understand.
“How do you know that? You don't even know what is going to happen.” I argued. I watched as his expression harden and he glared at me. I bit my lip in shame as he muttered to me,
“Remember the whole I talk more you listen more bit we discussed?” I nodded and shut my mouth. He sighed and pulled me back down against his chest as he continued.
“Even if things go okay, I still want to move. But I just have a feeling things will be a little...tricky. But I'm ready to face them. And after it's all over, I just wanted to know if you'd want to get off this island, escape to a new world and start somewhere fresh...you, me, and Rui. We can live on the beach, and we can wake up to amazing sunlight every morning and have the ocean right at our feet. I think you'd like it...I know Rui would love it...what do you think?” he asked me. It was my turn to speak. I'd been prepared to start arguing with him, but I found myself dreaming of the world he spoke of. He was talking about a home like the one we'd been to in our honeymoon. Like paradise, like heaven.
“Where were you thinking?” I smiled. He turned us over so he was hovering over me, a wide smile on his lips. I had basically said yes with my question, I was agreeing to a fresh start, and to live in paradise with the man I loved.
“You'd love it right? I know you would. I was thinking Thailand. Because they call it the land of smiles, and it's warm like it is here and there's tons of work to do they have these houses made out of straw and wood like the one from our honeymoon but bigger, they're right on the beach. Minseok they have these beautiful plumerias there called the Thai Gem that are just as beautiful as the ones here. There's great food there and the people are really nice, plus Luhan basically speaks Thai it would be perfect, Yixing knows how to fish and there is a huge floating market where we could sell rice and fish and live happily...I think you'd love it. I think we'd be happy there.” I watched with affection as his eyes seemed to gloss over, he seemed to have some inner glow as he spoke about our hopeful future. He was so happy the way he talked about it, the way he dreamed about his future. And I couldn't help but be so touched that he was so excited about a future with me.
It sounded beautiful.
“That sounds nice, I think that's a good idea.” I replied simply. I was sure his face would rip in half with how wide he was grinning at me. He fell on to me, hugging me tightly and pressing his lips to my ear and temple.
“I promise we'll live like kings. I swear I'll make everything better, I'll make you so happy Minseok. I want you to be so happy with me. I love you so much.” he breathed. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and hugged him back just as tightly.
“Everything is going to be okay right? We'll go there, and be okay. Right?” I just needed to make sure. I needed to hear it one more time. He pulled back to look me in the eyes again.
God those eyes, from the very beginning they'd had me hypnotized. They saw in to me, past my skin and bones and my walls of insecurity. They looked right at me.
“Don't be afraid my love...do you trust me?” I shivered when his hands roamed freely over my chest, teasing me a bit.
I felt a pain in my throat as my heartbeat quickened.
“I trust you.” I lied right to his face. Maybe for a second I did trust him completely? Maybe I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't insecure about his love for me. But it didn't matter, because he believed me, And he smiled at me. And he said something that had my mind going back to a time when I was younger, and scared. A time when my emotions were fresh and full of passion, when I'd been traveling to a certain waterfall and I'd had a small epiphany about how I felt.
“Good, took you long enough.” he smirked.
His mouth devoured mine, and his hands began to tease me until I was hard and in need. I moaned his name so many times that night, and he breathed so many 'I love you's in to my mouth I thought my body would over heat. When his mouth wasn’t on top of mine it was on my ring finger. He kept tenderly kissing my wedding ring over and over again, and he'd lick at the tip of my finger and make my heart leap. His open-mouthed kisses felt like too much, his slow and precise hips made me shake in anticipation. All I could do was hold on to him and wait, and moan for him, and tell him I loved him.
“And you still love me, don't you?” Minseok dropped the pencil he'd been writing with. He spun around to find Kris's face inches away from his. It was obvious Kris had been standing there for awhile, reading whatever Minseok had written.
His husband's face was still perfect, his eyes still pierced right through him with out even trying. Minseok gulped loudly. Kris smirked at his husband's reaction, leaning forward and pressing a small kiss to Minseok's frozen face.
“You love me Minseok?” Kris repeated. Minseok numbly nodded, of course he did. He'd always loved him, never stopped loving him. Kris's face fell, his smirk disappearing and being replaced with sad eyes. He tugged at Minseok's hand, making him stand up. He traced his husband's perfect features with his thumbs like he always had, taking his time to kiss that precious nose, and those amazing arched eyes, his soft cheeks that he bit on playfully. Kris took his time to kiss every single one of Minseok's features, the way he'd done long ago under a waterfall. When he was done with Minseok's face he moved to kiss his shoulders, and his neck, and finally bringing Minseok's hands to his lips to praise them. He didn't forget to show special attention to Minseok's ring finger, licking at the silver band that meant Minseok was still his. His other half, his partner and his husband.
Kris pressed their foreheads together, enjoying the way Minseok automatically put his arms around his neck. They hadn't embraced like this in awhile.
“I apologize Minseok, for everything I put you through. And I'm thankful you stopped me that day, from doing something that I'd regret. It showed me how much you loved me, and it showed me why I love you. And I'm sorry for lying to you. I'm sorry. I'm asking for your forgiveness. I want you back.” Kris murmured, his lips caressing Minseok's brow.
Minseok remembered that day. It was so clear and terrible it still made his heart break out in to a gallop. It should have been everything he'd wanted, since it was Wu Fan actually picking him over her.
It should have been, but it wasn't.
The second Wu Fan had decided to give up his morals for the sake of Minseok and his family was the moment Minseok...didn't recognize him anymore. That had scared him. And he knew it was wrong. And Minseok had felt incredibly guilty for even wishing death upon her.
Funny that Minseok had been the one to save her. Minseok had saved Tao from Wu Fan. He knew it was because he'd realized what was really right and wrong in that situation, but he tried to convince himself it was because of other reasons.
It could have been because the woman had summoned some crazy courage to talk to Minseok in the middle of the night, before everything had gone out of control. She'd told him her story, and she'd actually apologized for coming there. The words still remained in his memory, the ones that had changed his opinion about her. He'd looked at her face to face as she said it, and all he could see was regret and fear, and a lot of guilt.
“I'm sorry for coming here.” he remembered her whispering, “I know I seem...evil. And I am a bitch I admit. But if I'd known he had you, your son...I swear I wouldn't of come here. And it wouldn't matter if I left now. They'd come here anyways and...and I'm so so sorry.” she'd cried.
It had been Wu Fan that had offered her, ready to let her die so that one of his brother's could live, so that Minseok could live.
And Minseok had been the one to save her from death. Not Wu Fan.
Minseok reached up to run his fingers through his husband's now brown hair, kissing him sweetly.
“I forgive you.” he stated. Kris kissed him back, all desperation and relief.
“I trust you. With my life.” Minseok said honestly. Kris picked him up, carrying him to their bedroom.
Everything was going to be okay, Minseok told himself, everything was going to be fine.